


Reckless

by nothingisreal



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 07:20:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20093443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothingisreal/pseuds/nothingisreal
Summary: Alec didn't mean to kiss him.





	Reckless

**Author's Note:**

> Two days ago I didn't even really like Jace and I've no clue how this fic happened.  
This takes place sometimes during the first season, between episodes 6 and 12 but feel free to set it whenever you please. Anything between 4 and 13 could work.  
English isn't my first language (though I should probably stop using it as an excuse at this point). Sorry for anything too obviously British, I'm doing my best.

Alec wasn’t an impulsive person. He couldn’t afford to be, not with the way both his little sister and his parabatai would run headfirst into danger. Somebody had to save their asses when they did something stupid which could get them killed. Possibly both of them at the same time.

But when Clary came into their lives, their normal shifted. Nothing was the way it was supposed to be. The worst part was the way Jace was running after her like a puppy. Suddenly everything between them was strained, even their bond. There were just too many emotions - his _ and _ Jace’s. Too much anger, too many secrets. The connection had been pulled taut like a rubber band ready to snap at the slightest pressure. 

Alec had nothing to lose anymore. Not with his impending marriage. Not with Magnus so obviously wanting something from him. Not with his secret out in the open. Not with Jace so blinded by his attraction to Clary, he’d forgotten what being parabatai _ meant_. 

You can’t lose something you don’t even have. And Alec didn’t have Jace. Not anymore. Never the way he wished for but now not at all. He doubted they were even friends at that point. So what was stopping him from doing something reckless?

Another day, another argument. Alec had lost track of them, he didn’t even know what they were fighting about. Clary, that much for sure. It was _ always _ about Clary. Jace had come to Alec’s room, angry about something again. Alec didn’t want to listen anymore. Clary’s name, the way Jace said it, like it was something to be cherished, it snapped something inside him and the next thing he knew was that he was slamming Jace back against the wall, pinning him there with such strength he was bound to have Alec’s fingerprints on his shoulders. It was a strangely thrilling thought.

He didn’t know what exactly he’d been planning to do. Punch him maybe? All he knew was that he was furious, that he wanted to somehow make Jace feel the hurt, the burning of betrayal that Alec had been dealing with for weeks. Not through their bond. Jace needed to feel that unscratchable itch just under the skin himself. 

Alec didn’t mean to kiss him.

It was rough and messy, their teeth clashing and Jace’s fingers gripping at Alec’s T-shirt. It felt like proving a point, like finally reclaiming the control Jace had over him, gaining the upper hand. Until it didn’t.

Because then one of Jace’s hands was at the nape of Alec’s neck, brushing through his hair and instead of pushing back, he was pulling Alec closer. Their hips crashed against each other almost painfully and Alec jerked away with a loud gasp when he felt Jace’s boner against his thigh.

“What the fuck?” Alec muttered, staring at his parabatai with wide eyes. 

Jace looked _ wrecked_. He was leaning back against the wall, eyes closed, parted lips red, and breathing heavily. And unmistakably hard, the stiff line of his dick clearly visible through his jeans.

“What the fuck?” Alec repeated, this time expecting some kind of an answer. “Jace?”

“Alec,” Jace gasped, not opening his eyes, and his voice made goosebumps break out on Alec’s skin. He sounded hoarse, like they’d done much more than just kiss, and Alec wasn’t prepared to hear his own name said in that tone, like a plea and a prayer rolled into one.

The thought of getting the hell out of that room crossed his mind but his legs were rooted to the spot. He stared at Jace like he was seeing him for the first time and in a way he really was. 

“I…” he started speaking but trailed off when he realized he didn’t know _ what _to say. How was he supposed to react? And what the fuck was wrong with Jace? “I should… go.”

Jace’s fingers wrapped around his bicep right before he could open the door.

“Alec,” he repeated. 

Alec closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the sturdy wood. He hated Jace. He hated himself. He hated how fucked up their relationship had gotten. More than anything, he hated how despite everything he still wanted to grab Jace and kiss him breathless, to keep him gasping Alec’s name like that, like it was the only word he could remember. 

“Don’t,” he warned roughly instead, jerking his arm out of Jace’s grasp. This time Jace didn’t even try to stop him. 

The rune on his hip felt strangely warm and he resisted the urge to scratch at it until there were angry red lines on his skin. As he knocked on Magnus’s door, the taste of Jace was still sharp on his tongue. 

**Author's Note:**

> PS. I do love Malec more than any pairing ever but I'm still upset we didn't get a Jalec kiss on the show.


End file.
